Once upon a time…in real life 


  • The bit where Carrie goes for cocktails  in Sex and the City would be 2 for £8 pitchers at her local wetherspoons.
  • Whenever Hugh Grant was being charmingly English, people  wouldn’t actually be ale to understand him and the local veg man would shout ‘eh what you talking about mate??’.
  • The Prince Charming never arrives on a steed or even in a limousine always on the Bus.
  • The weird tablet written in ancient unused script would remain unread because you only actually have to learn 2 modern foreign languages at school.
  • Nobody would be able to actually understand what Chewbacca says and he would have been dropped from the group for logistical reasons. Plus everyone would be getting annoyed with his hair.
  • Peoples cars would never be thaaaat shiny, somebody would have written ‘clean me’ and then drawn a phallic symbol on the back of the really dusty ones. 
  • People would never be that willing to make friends with an alien, the police would be called if one was hiding in the tool shed and you lured it into your house with Reece’s pieces. 
  • The 5 minute pause whilst the character has its earth shattering brilliant inner monologue would be weird because during a conversation, they just stopped talking and stared into space mindlessly.
  • Whenever they go shopping, instead of classy shops, they’re diving straight into pocket friendly primark.
  • Miss Moneypenny gets sick of lusting after James Bond and him going away for long periods of time and tells him that she doesn’t even like him anymore and  marries that nice guy from accounting. 
  • Cinderella would have been more upset about losing her shoe than Prince Charming because she used all her overdraft to buy them from Topshop just last week!

Got anymore? Leave me a comment!

Love Robyn.

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20 thoughts on “Once upon a time…in real life ”

  1. “Confessions of a shopaholic” gal would never even tried to sell her clothes or Hughj ackman would never tried to kill his love in Vanhelsing 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The rule “Don’t feed ’em after midnight,” is impossibly vague. When is it okay to feed the Mogwai? If they said “Don’t feed the Mogwai between midnight and 6 AM,” that makes sense.
    You also mention ET, tack on child sex offender. No one mentions ET is totally nude at all times! Weird role reversal, the kids lure the adult nudist alien with candy rather than vice versa.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This list is great! Aw and the pugs in the beginning are so cute!

    A few more: Cinderellas shoes would probably be a pair of nikes that were bought on sale. Most Disney princes would be either labelled as stalkers, or creeps right off the bat. Ryan Renolds would have just ended up alone in the Proposal, and Sandra Bullock would probably be arrested for trying to fake a marriage.

    Aragorn from LOTR would have totally friend zoned Eowyn if she continued to converse with him, and Gimli’s character wouldn’t change just ’cause he’s that bad ass!


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