Dear body confidence, please come back!

There I stood, at the doctors office, wondering if my lunch was hanging on me like a bad smell and explaining that I'd been having reoccuring heart burn. 'Well miss Carrack, the reason you're having such symptoms at the tender age of 20 is because you're a big fat, fatty, whale woman' Okay he didn't…

My 13 predictions for 2016…

Well well well the first day of the worst month of the year, and if you're like me, you woke up with false eyelashes stuck on your face and the feeling that your diet definitely needs to start soon. Here are my predictions for the next 12 months.... 1) Kim Kardashian will bombard innocent people…

10 signs you’ve spent too much time with your family…

^This is supposed to represent a meme version of my family, go with it and don't tell them about it. Ahh Christmas is slowly backing out of the month of December and taking away with it our dignity, money and skill for wearing none Pyjama-ry clothes. So heres a few signs that means you and…

15 signs you’ve just done the big Christmas shop…

Oh Christmas, you really do bring out the craziness in us all...bulk buying cocktail sausages and don't forget the Baileys.... 1) You definitely saw a woman cry about there not being enough Bucks Fizz on demand. 2) There were wives screaming at their husbands 'WHICH TURKEY DO YOU THINK IS BIGGER DAVE?!' 3) You have…

13 reasons we all love Gogglebox…

If you are like me and my family you are completely in love with the idea and the people that bless English telly screens every Friday. Channel 4 you have created a masterpiece.  1) The posh, pissed couple from Sandwich who make you feel less guilty about that extra large glass of Shiraz.  2) It's…

Blogging block…

Now blogging block is sadly an illness with no notable remedy, for some of us it's cured by seeing something random on the bus, for others it's about staring at your computer screaming 'THINK BRAIN THINK'. It's a quiet but all consuming illness which leaves you with a layer of guilt for not having posted…

Winter isn’t winter if…

Like I said in my last blog post, I am full on in the christmas spirit but I thought maybe my festive cheer might be a bit too overbearig so I've moved over into the less dangerous territory of winter... 1) You don't fall over at least once on leaf sludge/ icy leaf sludge.  2)…

Can we please stop using the phrase ‘plus sized’?

Oh the wonderful world of fashion has 'let us know' that ladies (and vunerable teenage girls-myself included) have to be skinny to be beautiful as seen by the Victoria's Secret 'Love my body' campaign: And then they invented the sub-category for beautiful models called 'plus sized' just to really add salt to the wound. Although…

8 ways having a blog is like having a baby

Are you having crazy deja vu? Well yes, that's because I've decided to revamp an old blog post...because it's good....and I'm lazy. No seriously, it will still be funny...I promise. Btw I have zero children so this is all completely based on what I imagine. But probably true. 1. You wake up on the morning…

14 things to remember when you go christmas shopping…

Aah it's almost that blissfull time of year, where families get drunk on cheap Prosecco and fight with each other. Ahh just bliss, but before that comes the hectic squabbles in Primark over fluffy socks, heres 14 thing's that you definitely need to remember before you leave Prinark with a black eye.... 1) Don't by…