Well well well the first day of the worst month of the year, and if you’re like me, you woke up with false eyelashes stuck on your face and the feeling that your diet definitely needs to start soon. Here are my predictions for the next 12 months….
1) Kim Kardashian will bombard innocent people with pictures of her bare bum.
2) Katie Hopkins will offend people through the medium of social media and be nasty to anybody thats not middle class. Such a charmer.
3) Your strict diet plan will get thrown out of the window as soon as you remember how delicious chocolate cake is.
4) You’ll see more pictures of food on Instagram than ever.
5) Your facebook stream will be made up entirely of those pagesbyou liked in 2008, which showed people how cool and on trend you were.
6) Because the government hates us, booze prices will probably go up.
useless fame hungry ‘celebrities- will enter the jungle and basically let the whole country bully them just so they can get a slot on This Morning.
8) The Daily Mail’s ‘Femail’ section will continue to mock women for having cellulite or droopy ears.
9) The new IPhone will now be so massive, you’ll have to cart it around using a stolen shopping trolley.
10) As much as you promised to be a better person in 2016, it will all go out the window by the time you have to do the big shop on a busy saturday afternoon.
11) Primarks fluffy socks will become so fluffy that they will basically be massive clouds.
12) Celebs saucy texts will be accidently-on purpose leaked for all the world to see.
13)Justin Bieber will be a little git again and probably throw things at fans but then release a heart felt apology on twitter which makes everything better.
Happy new year everybody!