Oh Christmas, you really do bring out the craziness in us all…bulk buying cocktail sausages and don’t forget the Baileys….
1) You definitely saw a woman cry about there not being enough Bucks Fizz on demand.
2) There were wives screaming at their husbands ‘WHICH TURKEY DO YOU THINK IS BIGGER DAVE?!’
3) You have already made the promise to do all food shopping next year ONLINE.
4) You need the Christmas pudding earrings, you needed them, they might be the size of baubles but who cares.
5)If you hear another peep from that git Micheal Buble, you will have to resort to throwing clementines at people.
6) The bulk buying of reduced Ben and Jerry’s ice cream is actually only a sensible financial decision.
7) You actually almost gave up your spot in the queue to the woman with a thousand kids and a massive trolley of food stuffs but then you remembered that Christmas just hasnt quite brought out the best in you.
8) You started to think that you probably might need that massive salmon…just because you know…snacks?
9) You are sick of seeing food porn words like ‘gooey’, ‘honey glazed’ and ‘serves four’.
10) You let yourself have a massive sigh of relief that you don’t work in retail.
11) All the way round the supermarket you had to keep reminding yourself not to shout at slow old people.
12) You have never seen so much bulk buying of champagne (not even Prosecco) before.
13) You wrote several lists but forgot to look at them even once.
14) All the way round you wete thinking about sacking it all in and buying a curry with extra poppadoms. Because ALL THE PEOPLE.
15) You have mastered the art of the passive aggressive ‘excuse me’ which actually means ‘if you don’t move out of my fecking way, I will scream’.
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!