So it may not be the most sophisticatedly edited picture I’ve ever made and I did get a bit excited about the fact that the christmas is very soon (also slightly panicked) but here I have compiled a list of knock out presents that money just can’t buy…literally…because they don’t exist.
1) The ability to be able to eat not 1, not 2 but 3 christmas dinners without ever feeling full.
2) A button that allows you to choose if you want to get cheery wine drunk or sad wine drunk.
3) A dress that sucks the lumps (and bumps) in without making you lose the ability to breathe or eat.
4) Employing someone to delete all of your friend’s annoying facebook friends for them purely based on the amount of baby pictures and use of the word ‘cheeky’.
5) Giving someone the gift of a pill that gets rid of any wine infused, festive, hangover in just a jiffy (sicky/I want a Maccys feelings as well).
6) An Adam Sandler film that they haven’t already seen 1000 times.
7) A cream that allows you to be wonderful and charming at social events instead of weird and awkward.
8) A radar that detects if that bitchy person you hate is within a 10 feet radius of you at that party that you’re at.
9) A powerful potion that allows New Year’s Eve you to miraculously turn into fabulous, classy New Year’s you (basically that stops you crying and fighting with someone at midnight).
10) A potato that doesnt take a million years to bake.
11) A dog that picks up it’s own poo and aplogises for itself.
12) A magic spell that allows you to have the will power of an olympic athlete and actually just eat one Quality Street.
13) A box of chocolates that contains only the best ones (green triangles, Malteser celebrations-not a Bount in sight).
14) A device that allows you to send telepathic messages to yout friend about the person that’s really annoying you and omg will he ever stop talking.
15) A duvet that changes heat depending on how warm/cold you are just from seeing how much leg is in or out of the covers.
16) An unlimited supply of patience for those who quite like popping into Primark on a saturday afternoon.