Aah it’s almost that blissfull time of year, where families get drunk on cheap Prosecco and fight with each other. Ahh just bliss, but before that comes the hectic squabbles in Primark over fluffy socks, heres 14 thing’s that you definitely need to remember before you leave Prinark with a black eye….
1) Don’t by two younger cousins two different things unless you want world war 3 to break out at your dinner table.
2) Don’t just spend your time in Marks & Spencers by the free samples actually avoiding any shopping.
3) Bath stuff is cheating.
4) if you buy someone monopoly don’t expect everyone to not hate you.
5) Don’t fight crazy mums in Tesco’s for the last box of quality street. That’s how people die.
6) Never utter the phrase “I’m just going to pop in quickly to Primark!” Nobody can endure that much craziness.
7) Always remember that wine is more important than food. So buy it in boxes.
8) Don’t expect your dad to want anything more than socks, it’s been a Christmas tradition for the last 20 years….why would he want anything more?
9) Don’t shout at any Christmas elves, you’ll go on the naughty list.
10) Don’t be enticed by the pound land is 3 for a pound offer on wrapping paper, nobody needs that much (I mean how many presents do you have to wrap anyway…).
11) don’t forget to buy twice the amount of chocolate gifts, one for you and one for them. Perfect!
12) stopping off for a gourmet burger and chips is not cheating, it’s just refuelling.
13) Don’t forget to wear double the amount of deodrant when you go shopping because stress sweats.
14) Don’t forget your neighbor’s best friend’s aunty Susan, that for some reason always buys you christmas presents even though you’re pretty sure you’ve never met.
Actually after all that, I think I might just do it all online…