As you might have seen on my blog, I don’t tend to get real personal about my life, I mean I open up about my crippling addiction to Jaffa Cakes and that I’m a lazy student but generally I keep a little distance. But today, grown up-ing hit me hard and you know what sometimes you just gotta get it all off your chest.
We all know what rejection feels like, it comes in different shapes and forms but generally we’ve all had a taste of that hard hitting, stomach plunging, absolutely gutted feeling. It can be from love or from work or school but it’s still a bitter tase in everybody’s mouth.
Well this is kind of about that feeling. It’s about that feeling when you just don’t get why you got rejected.
I applied for university and I got my first rejection. And it hit me like a slap in the face. It hit me so bad because I just couldn’t understand why. I applied to do TESOL and German, so I figured, seeing as I teach English as a foreign language at the moment and I speak German (and live there incidently) it was gunna be a breeze.
But there it was. That sad little notification telling me I was good enough. Telling me that because I didn’t do German at A-Level, I just wasn’t good enough. And that hurt, and I did get upset and to be honest I did feeling like sending an email to a certain University, begging and pleading them to just give me one little chance.
It’s hard when you know, in your hearts of hearts, that you deserve something or that you’d be great at something, if someone just gave you a chance. It’s hard when it hits you ar the most unexpected times.
It’s hard as well to feel like you have to justify your guttedness.
So here I say, just allow yourself to be absolutely gutted, cry in the shower like you’re in a soppy film, because really once you’ve flushed that big bag of stressed out guttedness, you might be able to see a silver lining.
Now it’s time for a big bar of chocolate and glass of Shiraz,