I can wait to be old, it really is the desert of life…
1) Asking what the internet actually is..
2) Not only paying with vouchers but actually still giving them to grandkids for Christmas.
3) Demanding seats left right and centre on the bus.
4) Telling everybody you can’t hear them ‘oh my hearing aid must be broken’ even though you have actually just turned it off.
5) Being physically unable to walk into a supermarket without saying ‘ooh in my day you could have had that for a shilling’
6) Still funding the milk mans and the window cleaners holiday to Malaga.
7) Always knowing the exact temperature and weather forecasts for the next 7 days.
8) Refusing to sit in any other seat than your favourite seat in the pub.
9) Spending all their spare change on fish,chips and mushy peas and scratch cards.
10) Only having a mobile phone for emergencies but never having it switched on.
11) Being blissfully unaware of calories.
12) Spending hours and hours cleaning that car, no matter how old that car is.
13) Wearing a suit when it’s 30 degrees and you’re only off to the supermarket.
14) Scheduling your day by looking at the TV mag.
15) Being totally unaware of what wifi is and completely baffled when a grand child asks you for the password.
16) Having a computer with an actual back on it.
17) Stopping in the street and staring at something or someone and then engaging in a full blown conversation about the new chippy.
18) Driving home after a few pints on your mobility scooter.
19) Being completely flee with your flaruence and excusing it by saying ‘ooh better out than in’
20) Referring to modern music as ‘boom boom’ music.
21) Being on the same sleeping schedule as your grandchildren.
22) Having a garden which would take pride of place on an episode of gardeners world and special trees and bushes devoted to fruit for jams.
23) Thinking that a macchiato is some kind of illness.
24) Going to the doctors and having a 25 minute conversation about your holiday.
25) Asking people to cut your toe nails.
26) Starting conversations with ‘Well guess who died last week…’.
27) Driving a good 10 miles per hour under the speed limit.
28) Having a dog that takes the same amount of medication that you do.
29) Having a shopping bag that you roll.
30) It being perfectly acceptable to keep your glasses on a string around your neck so you don’t lose them…