There’s nothing like a little bit of sarcasm in life…
1) when you cannot physically say a sentence without insulting someone and making a ‘duuuuhh’ face.
2) People believe that you really would enjoy putting pins in your eyes…
3) You’re often so sarcastic you think new friends must be on constant edge guessing if you’re a weirdo or not.
4) You’re old friends know you’re a sarcastic bitch and stop listening to you.
5) You can’t imagine giving someone a normal, truthful answer the first time.
6) When you give someone a compliment they normally ask you if you’re being sarcastic and then say thank you in a really awkward way.
7) You’re sarcasm will explode in awkward situations and you will probably end up insulting your grandma.
8) Your mum says things like ‘this is from your dads side…you know your weirdness’ usually followed by ‘go away’.
9) You have perfected being able to combine ‘sideways unimpressed-this is so crap’ face with saying things like ‘this is wonderful’.
10) People have stopped asking you questions.
11) You have to have words with yourself before important meetings to stop yourself insulting your boss.
12) You definitely were like this is in nursery….well probably since you started talking…well probably somehow before.
13) Your collection of slogan tshirts expressing your love of pizza instead of humans is impressively large.
14) You cannot write a birthday/wedding/christening cards without including 1 sarcastic insult.
15) You have like 3 friends who put up with your shit.