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How to be an English person abroad…


So it turns out if you type in ‘pug’ and any word you can probably find a stupidly dressed pug….it’s great. Anyway here are 16 easy things to do in order to let everybody know just exactly where you come from 

1) Wear a football shirt squeezed over your beer belly, even better if it has ‘Gerrard’ on the back.

2) Refuse to eat any other food except for egg and chips. 

3) Refuse to drink anything other than Calsberg or Newcastle brown. 

4) You should greet other English people/ people from the same town by saying ‘aye it’s a small world int it?!’ 

5) And then bond over ‘ow bloody ot it is’.

7) Turn a lovely shade of lobster red on the first day and slowly get redder and redder the days go on. 

8) Base all evenings around where has a) the biggest screen and b) how much football they show. 

9) Only eat in restaurants with laminated signs.

10) Refuse to talk a word of Spanish, instead opt for shouting in English.

11) laugh and then cough and then shout ‘the bloody robbing bastards’ when you see the prices in the airport.

12) Go full hog and wear socks and sandals.

13) Dazzle everybody with your legs that haven’t seen sunlight in 7 months that closely resemble the colour of the moon. 

14) Break your exclusive diet plan of egg and chips only for a McDonald’s or greasy kebab.

15) Buy 16 packets of cigarettes at duty free and proceed to smoke a fair few over the holiday.

16) Refuse to buy a lilo, instead wait till the people next door to you to go back to England  and offer to give you theirs, because what do they need one in England for??!

Love Robyn.

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