The days of working with children are behind me, but I do have to say whether you’re a teacher, a nanny, a babysitter or even a parent you do develop a very strange set of characteristics….
1) You get really comfortable with asking people if they’ve been to the toilet on a regular basis.
2) And talking about poo. Poo does not bother you anymore.
3) You about the gruffalo, you know about wally, you know about green eggs and ham, you know them all.
4) Even when you’re at home you’ll chop carrot and cucumber sticks and arrange them to look like the sunshine.
5) You know that ‘I don’t have any homework’ means ‘I have 500 hundred sheets of gluing and sticking that need to be in for tomorrow’.
6) You get really excited about worksheets. Fresh crisp worksheets.
7) You know not to ask children questions you don’t want to hear the answer to…children are brutally honest!
8) You come home and reward your boyfriend for doing the washing up with a gold star.
9) Sports day might as well be renamed to the ‘Olympics’ there will blood, sweat and orange squash.
10) You refer to swear words as ‘bad words’ even when you’re not in school.
11) When you do swear you shudder and hope there wasn’t a little person around to hear it.
12) You’re not afraid to pull out the big dogs ‘I will phone your mum up…’ .
13) At dinner parties you tell your guests they’re not having any pudding until they finish their peas.
14) Sometimes you go to bed at night singing ‘incy wincy spider’.
15) And doing the hand movements,
16) You accidently get called mum a lot on a daily basis.
17) People get really annoyed with you for using your patronising kid voice.
Got any of your own?
Love Robyn.
A Girl In Europe 
The pug with the pug backpack! Ha! Love it! 🙂
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I want one so bad!
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Yes. To all of this.
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They make tiny doggy backpacks? Of course they do. Number 4 is just whimsical and fun. We should all do that. It’s why I can’t resist making a smiley face on sandwiches when I put on condiments.
I can only imagine the horror show scenarios that resulted in number 7. As for number 8, I hope “gold star” is a euphemism.
Number 11 applies to all workplaces, except substitute “little person” for “Human Resources” or “that uptight dick-fart in Accounting.”
Thankfully, I don’t work with kids (both “thankfully” for me and for society in general) so I can’t add many more. But, this is why I won’t shake hands with new parents or those who work with the young: too much poop on your hands.
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Lol I wrote it and I was like ‘gold star’ does sound sexual and all the poop on the hands
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It’s the little things that mean a lot. Like the ‘little things’ you find stuffed down the back or side of the sofa, or the car seat, or in your trouser pocket as a ‘gift’. Then the little darling brings something to show you and it’s a shape in their hand and when you say you can’t guess what it is, they say ‘smell it daddy’ and you do and you wish you hadn’t. THEN you can guess what it is. I know THREE versions of ‘The wheels on the bus’, yet only one version of ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’. Also it’s when you find yourself singing ‘Postman Pat’ or that thing Barney the Dinosaur sings “I love you, you love me”. I’ve even made ‘adult’ versions of that darned song, NOT to sing in front of any kids though of course! You put on a kids TV show by mistake and sit there watching it for HALF AN HOUR! Like some kind of dimwit. The worst thing was, oh the shame, when I was tidying up the toys, ‘cos “mini-me” had gone to sleep before doing it and went and built a whole small house out of ‘LEGO’ before I came to my senses! Even though they’re both grown up now, I’m still receiving help and it’s a long struggle, but at least there’s light at the end of the tunnel. “Toot-Toot”! Sorry, bad ‘train set’ memories.
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One I always do….tell random kids in shops to use their inside voices and “No Running!”
I have also been known to stop my car and tell kids off for being silly at the side of the roads then realised I didn’t know them! Xxx
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And tell them the famous story of kid in your old old school that sung too far back on his chair and fell and had to go to hospital, that is so teacher!
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I can totally relate! Especially to #3–I even use Green Eggs and Ham in my latest post. How about “you can make mac n’ cheese with your eyes closed”? I wish I had counted how many boxes of that I’ve made!
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Hahaha! Sounds funny!
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