The days of working with children are behind me, but I do have to say whether you’re a teacher, a nanny, a babysitter or even a parent you do develop a very strange set of characteristics….
1) You get really comfortable with asking people if they’ve been to the toilet on a regular basis.
2) And talking about poo. Poo does not bother you anymore.
3) You about the gruffalo, you know about wally, you know about green eggs and ham, you know them all.
4) Even when you’re at home you’ll chop carrot and cucumber sticks and arrange them to look like the sunshine.
5) You know that ‘I don’t have any homework’ means ‘I have 500 hundred sheets of gluing and sticking that need to be in for tomorrow’.
6) You get really excited about worksheets. Fresh crisp worksheets.
7) You know not to ask children questions you don’t want to hear the answer to…children are brutally honest!
8) You come home and reward your boyfriend for doing the washing up with a gold star.
9) Sports day might as well be renamed to the ‘Olympics’ there will blood, sweat and orange squash.
10) You refer to swear words as ‘bad words’ even when you’re not in school.
11) When you do swear you shudder and hope there wasn’t a little person around to hear it.
12) You’re not afraid to pull out the big dogs ‘I will phone your mum up…’ .
13) At dinner parties you tell your guests they’re not having any pudding until they finish their peas.
14) Sometimes you go to bed at night singing ‘incy wincy spider’.
15) And doing the hand movements,
16) You accidently get called mum a lot on a daily basis.
17) People get really annoyed with you for using your patronising kid voice.
Got any of your own?