(I feel like this is the meanest but also best thing someone with a cat could do to said cat…)
Anyway life is pretty embarrassing and sometimes things happen and you can just feel everybody looking at you and you think your head is going to burst into flames it’s so red…I’m actually having painful flashbacks, so without further ado here goes..
1) When you’re stood at the front of the queue and you absolutely cannot cannot find any change for your macchiato.
2. You’re sat in the library, deathly silence, ooh look at that somebody sent me a video. Press play. HEADPHONES ARE NOT IN I REPEAT HEADPHONES ARE NOT IN.
3. Not being able to sit down before the bus driver starts driving and doing a weird little fall.
4. Meeting people for the first time and being completely wasted and realising dancing to shakers on the table was probably not the nest first impression.
5. Going through the whole day realising you had you top on inside out.
6. Being the only person eating and everybody else looking at you as every chewing sound somehow seems incredibly loud.
7. Whenever you have to take your mum into school or uni or whatever and she asks ‘ooh is that your friend?’ Whenever you make a gesture of recognition to anybody.
8. Having to stop at traffic lights when you go for a run and looking bright red in the face and breathing like an Alsatian.
9. Realising that all the self serve checkouts are taken and your going to have to-gulp- go to a real person and they will actually see your ladies items and everything.
10. Realising you’ve been talking to people with spinach in your teeth for the last half hour.
11. The reason for realising the spinach in the teeth is when somebody stops you in front of everyone and tells you.
12. Walking past a group of people and pretending to absolutely know where you’re going only to realise you need to be in the exact other direction.
13. Preparing your table and putting your napkin on your knee because you think the waiter is coming over with your food…he’s not and now you’ve made too much eye contact.