(I feel like this is the meanest but also best thing someone with a cat could do to said cat…)
Anyway life is pretty embarrassing and sometimes things happen and you can just feel everybody looking at you and you think your head is going to burst into flames it’s so red…I’m actually having painful flashbacks, so without further ado here goes..
1) When you’re stood at the front of the queue and you absolutely cannot cannot find any change for your macchiato.
2. You’re sat in the library, deathly silence, ooh look at that somebody sent me a video. Press play. HEADPHONES ARE NOT IN I REPEAT HEADPHONES ARE NOT IN.
3. Not being able to sit down before the bus driver starts driving and doing a weird little fall.
4. Meeting people for the first time and being completely wasted and realising dancing to shakers on the table was probably not the nest first impression.
5. Going through the whole day realising you had you top on inside out.
6. Being the only person eating and everybody else looking at you as every chewing sound somehow seems incredibly loud.
7. Whenever you have to take your mum into school or uni or whatever and she asks ‘ooh is that your friend?’ Whenever you make a gesture of recognition to anybody.
8. Having to stop at traffic lights when you go for a run and looking bright red in the face and breathing like an Alsatian.
9. Realising that all the self serve checkouts are taken and your going to have to-gulp- go to a real person and they will actually see your ladies items and everything.
10. Realising you’ve been talking to people with spinach in your teeth for the last half hour.
11. The reason for realising the spinach in the teeth is when somebody stops you in front of everyone and tells you.
12. Walking past a group of people and pretending to absolutely know where you’re going only to realise you need to be in the exact other direction.
13. Preparing your table and putting your napkin on your knee because you think the waiter is coming over with your food…he’s not and now you’ve made too much eye contact.
Love Robyn.
A Girl In Europe 
2. You’re sat in the library, deathly silence, ooh look at that somebody sent me a video. Press play. HEADPHONES ARE NOT IN I REPEAT HEADPHONES ARE NOT IN.
Every. Dang. Time.
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Dam Murphy’s law
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I tore my trousers after bending down to pick something up on my first day at my new job. It was a GIANT tear too – there was no hiding it.
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Hahah! You poor thing!
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2.!! So, I was sitting with my headphone on, listening to Chinese democracy, and then the librarian lady came and said, I kinda had to put the headphone all the way in! The whole time I thought the sound came through the headphone. I ran from the library and died a little.
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Hahah wow that one takes the biscuit, you poor soul!
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Oh, perhaps you aren’t old enough yet for this one….
1. When you walk into the office with the back of your skirt tucked into your underwear and you walk by two men who say “good morning” but nothing else and your secretary has to tell you to pull your skirt out. ;-(
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Haha I don’t have an office but I have had this happen to me
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Number 10 happens to me only all the time.
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Ugh, this was like a tour of my past shame. I was just going down the list, “yep, did that, uh huh, yes, oh god I remember that, that too…my life is a series of mortifying episodes!”
I’ve also: unwittingly exposed my naughty bits to strangers on multiple occasions, farted at a dinner party right when everyone gets quiet and there’s no dog around to blame it on, rode on a camel–which doesn’t sound embarrassing until you realize 1/4 of the way through that the hump is brutalizing your genitals and you’re in front of your coworkers nearly crying from the pain and they know what’s going on, laughing uproariously), and oh so many others.
My soul is so calloused that I no longer know how to feel humiliation.
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are you trying to go for a never seen before twice in a row funniest comment win?? Absolutely love your comments!
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It is ridiculous how often I manage no. 5. Sometimes I go for months without it happening and I start to think that maybe, just maybe, I’ve finally mastered the art of putting on clothes. But then I get to the end of a nice birthday dinner at a posh restaurant only to discover that my dress has been inside out the entire time and I’m forced to accept that I really cannot human properly.
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Humaning is very hard! I’m sure it looked even better inside out, don’t worry!
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… you know, I think you have the right way of looking at it. I intended to wear it inside out. I was starting a new fashion trend.
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You’re a fashion revolutionary
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