So I suppose this is a somewhat specific title, but just forgot about that (I promise I’ll still make you laugh). As you may know If you’ve read my about page, I’m living in Germany and well my mum and dad are not, so over the last few months I think we’ve picked up some quirky traits during our long distance family-ship…
1. You suddenly find your post box way more exciting, instead of just any old boring bills asking you for money, sometimes there’s a postcard or if you’re really really lucky a care package.
2. But you also find yourself turning into an old person and complaining about the price of stamps.
3. With the revolutionary invention of Skype you can still eat dinner with your parents and find out if the light in the hallway has been fixed yet.
4. There is this kind of feeling of betrayal when you try and Skype your parents and there’s no answer. ‘Where are you?! Your favourite child is calling!’.
5. You can go from zero-to- they don’t love me anymore in 3 seconds.
6. You find yourself wondering if you should just move back so you don’t have to do your own washing anymore.
7. Your mum still tells you it’s time for bed or that ‘you look tired’ even though she can’t actually see you in person.
8. Oh and your dads pretty happy that he can send his burps from England to Germany, thanks to today’s technology.
9. You get spoken about to other people as if you were this magic unicorn creature that only appears at Christmas or summer holidays.
10. You miss out on important information because your brother was supposed to whatsapp your dad, who was supposed to Skype you whilst your mum was busy.
11. Just because you can’t actually be with each other during meal times doesn’t mean that you can’t send it each other pictures of food everyday.
12. You realise how absolutely lost you are when it comes to fixing your bike or replacing a light bulb now your dads not there.
13. Every time your mum sees you in person, she gets this worried look and says ‘you’ve lost weight, are you eating enough?’.
14. Sometimes you think your parents pretend there’s bad wifi because they want to watch Breaking Bad now that they are safe in the knowledge that you’re okay.
15. You still try and talk to your pets through Skype so they don’t forget who you are, which means your mum running around the room to find the dog.
Now read this one!