1) ‘I’m sorry sir…oh wait you’re a woman, I’m sorry ma’am and I’m sorry I called you sir ma’am’
2) ‘well it looks like somebody enjoyed their dinner (looks at your stomach)’
3) ‘We ran out of fish about a week ago…but I guess we could find some old prawns in the bottom of the freezer for you?”
4) ‘No sir that’s absolutely not a cockroach, the only animals that we have are served in gra-oh shit that’s a cockroach’
5) ‘I’m sure you won’t get food poisoning this time’
6) ‘here here ladies and gentlemen the Cook has lost a tooth, can you check if it’s on one of your soufflés?”
7) ‘I’m sorry you’re dinner was cold, there was a mix up in the kitchen and that was actually let over from yesterday’
8) ‘the dish washer has packed in so there might be a bit of left over food on your plates it’s nothing to worry about’
9) ‘we can assure you that all food comes fresh from Iceland, the store I mean not the country’
10) ‘This restaurant is accredited with only having caused 20 bouts of food poisoning’
11) ‘We hope you don’t mind but Gordon Ramsey will be here today filming for his show ‘kitchen nightmares’ ‘
12 ) ‘Well last time i was here one of the waiters set a ladies hair on fire with a candle’
13) ‘excuse me sir there’s a fingernail in my soup’
14) ‘yes sir this is a vegan restaurant and we have a policy the more dirt in the salad the fresher it is, so you’re really quite lucky’
15) ‘Our chefs pulled a sickie so today we will be offering a ‘cook it yourself’ evening’
16) ‘No of course you won’t get food poisoning, it’s perfectly fine to eat chicken rare’
17) ‘Due to a fridge malfunction and that the chef forgot about them for weeks we have a rather good selection of blue cheese on offer today’
18) ‘the waiters are very highly trained I’ve only seen them drop food on somebody 10 times’
19)’and today’s specials are snails or beef liver in port sauce’
20 ) ‘did you have that rash before we sat down?’
21) ‘are you sure that it should ooze like that? And it really does smell quite horrific’
Love Robyn.
A Girl In Europe 
I never want to search for a missing tooth in my food and Gordon Ramsey would cause me to run!
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Haha I would run a mile!
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Hahhaha the waiters at time be like ” mam, we can’t bring in the new meal ,you already ate the disgusted one ” :p
9 & 11 were great! !!
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Thanks !!
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My pops called a little boy, a girl today on the mountain. I was like oh man!! Haha, I felt bad, the parents didn’t say anything, but I knew they were upset. Kinda funny, relates to #1
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Haha it’s happened to us all though
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