1) You count ‘going to festivals’ as your favourite outdoor activity.
2) Anything that involves waterproof trousers is a definate no.
3) You’ve never once put a tent up in your life and you never plan on doing so.
4) When people say they like to wake up early and go to adventurous water sports you kind of have this concerned confused look on your face.
5)The only time you spend prolonged periods outside is when it’s sunny and you’re having barbecue or you’re sat in a beer garden.
6) Even gardening is too strenuous.
7) You blame ‘hayfever’ for being the reason you can’t do something in summer. It’s a lie.
8) You don’t understand people who go on long walks for fun.
9) When you do get forced to go on long walks for fun, you always have to borrow walking shoes.
10) To you a holiday has to involve a hotel. Not sleeping outside.
11) You would have given your left arm in order to not have to go outside for PE. In fact you probably always had a sick note.
12) You only tried hiking because you saw that’s what Victoria Secre models did. Turns out it’s better in LA.
13) Snow sports. Just stop right there.
14) If you ever did manage to force yourself to go skiing you spent most of the time getting drunk in the lodge.
15) If it involves having to do a ‘nature wee’ then you’re defiantly not going.
16) When you are outside you will most certainly check if there’s free Wifi around.
17) You only own a sleeping bag from all the times at parties you had to sleep on the floor.
18) You’re probably more put off by squeezing your legs into cycling shorts than you actually are by cycling, but still it’s enough not to go.
19) The only time you do consider sleeping outside is when you’re drunk and you forgot your key.
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