1)When you moved out of your parents house you did have to ring up and ask how to boil a potato.
2)You manage to set off your next door neighbours fire alarm.
3) People look nervous and a little bit sick when you suggest cooking.
4) More often than not your dinner parties include get excessively drunk and ordering a Chinese.
5) You tried to make jelly once…and put it in the oven.
6) If it wasn’t for packet mixtures you wouldn’t have baked a cake ever in your life.
7) cheese on toast took you 20 years to master and it’s still the only food you can make.
8) You’re not even sure what the herbs and spices are in the back of the cupboard, you certainly never use them.
9) You have to ask what the drawings mean on the back of food. How are you supposed to know that means grill?!
10) When you help someone cook it generally means sitting around drinking wine and tasting it every so often.
11) Most of your money gets spent on takeaways and sandwiches from Sainsbury’s.
12) You have probably bought an already cooked chicken and passed it off as you’re own hard work.
13) You don’t even trust yourself to make toast on a morning.
14) You own one cookbook that someone gave to you when you went to uni…and you haven’t even opened it.
15) The word ‘marinade’ is lost on you.
16) People refer to your previous culinary mishaps as ‘incidents’.
17) You’re usually sad because 13p packet noodles aren’t really ‘Instagram worthy’
18) You gaze in awe when people manage to make roast dinners and Yorkshire puddings, oh the wizardry!
19) Nobody has ever once asked you for a recipe. Never.
20) You’re usually far too drunk on Baileys to contribute anything useful to Christmas dinner, which is good because you don’t know anything.