Things only unaffectionate people understand…

 

You do like people, from a distance..

• It’s time to leave. You will do an army roll out of the door if it means avoiding doing hugs. 

•  When someone’s crying and you sit there wondering if it’s okay to run away and pretend you never saw it. 

• When strangers tap you on the back in a matey way and it takes you a while to get over the space invasion. 

• You want to be a good friend who’s upset so you contact a slightly more caring friend to deal with the situation. 

• You are the worst person when it comes to consoling people, all your examples of sadness come from overcooking pasta.

• A handshake is a really good interaction.

• Just because you’ve known someone for years doesn’t mean they get a hug upon arrival. 

• The no hug rule is also not broken for people you haven’t seen in a while. A hearty handshake and a smile is enough. 

• You might develop a twitch when someone gives you a nickname, but obviously would never say anything. 

• Sometimes you think that you might be more affectionate when you’re drunk…you’re not.

• A full taxi. Oh no all the forces limb touching.

• Mushiness might make you say the phrase ‘I’m gunna vom’.

• You don’t understand why couples can’t just display their love with a glance.

• You think okay maybe holding hands is cute but then you think ‘hmm bet their palms are sweaty’ 

• Sometimes you can be surprisingly nice and you take that as your good deed for the rest of the year. 

• People that love their pets like babies kind of confuse you (…they can’t even talk?) .

• Although you have been known to cry at a moving episode of How I Met Your Mother than any real life situation. 

• When you do have to give someone a hug and it’s described as ‘lackluster’ or ‘a tap’.

• A cup of tea can be the answer to any problem. 

Love Robyn.