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You’re a winoholic when…

 

I just wrote this about a friend of a friend…obviously I never drink wine…never. 

  • It gets to lunchtime and you think ‘is it too early for a glass?’ 
  • When you start to measure in bottles rather than glasses when it comes to talking about how much wine your drunk.
  • Your dream house does have a wine a tap. 
  • When you have to pretend to be shocked about how much wine you’ve drunk at the pub ‘oh my, was that all me*eyes dart around the room*’.
  • You’re not even picky about taste, style or colour. If it says wine on the front then that’s enough. 
  • You have a ‘day time’ wine. 
  • When you go round to people’s house they’ll keep a spare bottle on the fridge. Or 4. 
  • You’re always trying to find someone to split a bottle of wine in a pub…just so you don’t feel bad. 
  • You have to make awkward trips to the bottle bank…every 2 days. 
  • You know it’s a mistake when you open a bottle of wine for cooking….
  • When you start to have one glass and it doesn’t make a difference.
  • Staring at people with a look of bewilderment and disgust when they say ‘ooh no I’m not a wine person’. 
  • Your wine glasses have been compared to small fish tanks. 
  • You throw lots of cheese and wine parties….without the cheese. 
  • SODA WATER AND WINE. NO. 
  • You will drink wine out of any receptacle.
  • You’ve thought about putting in frozen peas in your glass of wine, because warm white wine, blurghk. 
  • You’re known as the loud talking wine drunk.
  • You regard anything under 10% as being grape juice. 
  • You’re that person. The one ‘that drinks wine out of a box’.
  • The thought of drinking beer on a night out makes you wrinkle your nose. 
  • People ask you for which wine to choose (even though you just drink Aldis special offer wine).
  • You call wine that costs over £5 ‘the good wine’.
  • You buy so many bottles that the cashier at the check out asks ‘ooh you going to a party?’ And you have to smile and nod.

Love,Robyn.

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