I just wrote this about a friend of a friend…obviously I never drink wine…never.
- It gets to lunchtime and you think ‘is it too early for a glass?’
- When you start to measure in bottles rather than glasses when it comes to talking about how much wine your drunk.
- Your dream house does have a wine a tap.
- When you have to pretend to be shocked about how much wine you’ve drunk at the pub ‘oh my, was that all me*eyes dart around the room*’.
- You’re not even picky about taste, style or colour. If it says wine on the front then that’s enough.
- You have a ‘day time’ wine.
- When you go round to people’s house they’ll keep a spare bottle on the fridge. Or 4.
- You’re always trying to find someone to split a bottle of wine in a pub…just so you don’t feel bad.
- You have to make awkward trips to the bottle bank…every 2 days.
- You know it’s a mistake when you open a bottle of wine for cooking….
- When you start to have one glass and it doesn’t make a difference.
- Staring at people with a look of bewilderment and disgust when they say ‘ooh no I’m not a wine person’.
- Your wine glasses have been compared to small fish tanks.
- You throw lots of cheese and wine parties….without the cheese.
- SODA WATER AND WINE. NO.
- You will drink wine out of any receptacle.
- You’ve thought about putting in frozen peas in your glass of wine, because warm white wine, blurghk.
- You’re known as the loud talking wine drunk.
- You regard anything under 10% as being grape juice.
- You’re that person. The one ‘that drinks wine out of a box’.
- The thought of drinking beer on a night out makes you wrinkle your nose.
- People ask you for which wine to choose (even though you just drink Aldis special offer wine).
- You call wine that costs over £5 ‘the good wine’.
- You buy so many bottles that the cashier at the check out asks ‘ooh you going to a party?’ And you have to smile and nod.