You’re a winoholic when…

 

I just wrote this about a friend of a friend…obviously I never drink wine…never. 

• It gets to lunchtime and you think ‘is it too early for a glass?’ 

• When you start to measure in bottles rather than glasses when it comes to talking about how much wine your drunk.

• Your dream house does have a wine a tap. 

• When you have to pretend to be shocked about how much wine you’ve drunk at the pub ‘oh my, was that all me*eyes dart around the room*’.

• You’re not even picky about taste, style or colour. If it says wine on the front then that’s enough. 

• You have a ‘day time’ wine. 

• When you go round to people’s house they’ll keep a spare bottle on the fridge. Or 4. 

• You’re always trying to find someone to split a bottle of wine in a pub…just so you don’t feel bad. 

• You have to make awkward trips to the bottle bank…every 2 days. 

• You know it’s a mistake when you open a bottle of wine for cooking….

• When you start to have one glass and it doesn’t make a difference.

• Staring at people with a look of bewilderment and disgust when they say ‘ooh no I’m not a wine person’. 

• Your wine glasses have been compared to small fish tanks. 

• You throw lots of cheese and wine parties….without the cheese. 

• SODA WATER AND WINE. NO. 

• You will drink wine out of any receptacle.

• You’ve thought about putting in frozen peas in your glass of wine, because warm white wine, blurghk. 

• You’re known as the loud talking wine drunk.

• You regard anything under 10% as being grape juice. 

• You’re that person. The one ‘that drinks wine out of a box’.

• The thought of drinking beer on a night out makes you wrinkle your nose. 

• People ask you for which wine to choose (even though you just drink Aldis special offer wine).

• You call wine that costs over £5 ‘the good wine’.

• You buy so many bottles that the cashier at the check out asks ‘ooh you going to a party?’ And you have to smile and nod.

Love,Robyn.