The 9 stages to ‘no I’m not going to drink that much tonight’ 


  • Yup have made this adult decision to just get a little bit ‘buzzed’ this is gunna happen you can do this, you’re just gunna drink the half bottle of wine you brought. That’s all. 


  • You arrived for pre-drinks and told your friends the plan.They laughed. In your face.


  • You’re doing really well and you don’t even care that somebody made cocktails. You’re happy. You don’t need alcohol.


  • Okay you start on the wine, it’s going down a little easier than expected. Someone offers you a rum and coke. Where’s the harm in that?


  • Before you know it the wines gone (must have been Lindsey) and you’re ‘buzzed’ just buzzed, maybe stop speaking so loud and people won’t realise what’s happening. 


  • Okay you start to think maybe you’ve a little too much to drink but you could definitely, maybe get up without a hangover tomorrow, maybe even go to yoga. Yes definitely. 


  • Somebody offers you shot, another one, does that make 3 or 4? 


  • You get to the club and this ‘buzz’ is really helping you dance. You’re a great dancer. Wow. And not drunk. Definitely not drunk. 


  • Okay now might be the time to admit defeat, you realise you’re probably definitely drunker than all your friends, someone comes over and asks how the ‘not drinking’is going. They use air quotes. 


Love, Robyn. 


5 thoughts on “The 9 stages to ‘no I’m not going to drink that much tonight’ ”

  1. I can relate…It’s just a baseball game on TV, I’ll drink until the bottom of the fifth and then ride it out. Maybe grab a bag of Cheetohs to tame the buzz. No need to drink until the wee morning hours of infomercial Hell…

    Fast forward eleven hours…

    I never knew my couch tasted like regret until I woke up biting it in a drunken stupor.

    Awesome post, very funny!

    Liked by 1 person

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