Things you should never ever do to yourself…

  • NEVER Google any symptoms when you’re ill..


  • Never ask an old person in street for directions and expect them to NOT tell you there entire life story and that their granddaughter finally stopped putting peas up her nose (finally, she is 27!). 


  • Never sit and feel sorry for yourself, go pick yourself up and Google funny cat videos.  


  • Never do at home highlights. 


  • Never put pineapples on pizza (I mean it, it’s a crime) 


  • Never expect your idea of ‘clean and tidy’ to be good enough for your mum. 


  • Never believe it when somebody asks you out for just one drink. It means you’re coming home wasted at 5am and possibly  covered in kebab sauce. 


  • Never buy a lip balm with the false hope of finishing it. That’s the stuff of dreams and miracles.


  • Never make the mistake of going shopping when you’re hungry. That’s how you end up having Jaffa Cakes for dinner. (Maybe this one shouldn’t be on the list, who doesn’t want Jaffa cakes for dinner?!)     


  • Never read a Nicholas Sparks novel (and expect not to cry like a baby).


  • Never make the mistake of wearing white to a barbeque/or really any place that involves ketchup.


  • Never buy or wear disco pants ever again. Please. 

  (Replace blouse for disco pants)

Love, Robyn. 

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